"I like the feeling of hiding my day-to-day identity behind my mask and stand as a kinky sub rubber doll. All my insecurities and fears just fade away." In "Ask A Rubberist" series (check through the tag below) I talk to people about their deeper connection with latex and all the th...
2021-11-16 15:48:27 +0000 UTC View PostFrom the bottom of my heart and my work-related burnout, here's an essay on using BDSM as an escape – and whether his idea is even ethical, relevant or hot. Also: post-digital identity fatigue, filth as mindfulness and the meditative joys of having your fingers down someone's throat. Thank you for your support, now more than ever <3
2021-11-04 17:49:03 +0000 UTC
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Did you ask to see my bruised ass? I guess not - but at least I put a TW on it. That's the interesting thing with bruises – they're a large part of what we go through and what we love in BDSM, they're always intimate but not always pretty or appreciated. They're part of the story of what we share with others and what we don't – and finding the distinction between the two.
2021-10-24 17:36:39 +0000 UTC
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Hello beautiful people and thank you for supporting me here <3
I am drowning in work and unfortunately have no time to finish some essay drafts – so you can have these hardcore baroque and very gay outtakes of a vintage Regulation store catalogue which I found at UK Fetish Archive open day the other week. No one asked for those - but hey, they're pretty amazing. As I fiddled with it for quite some time trying to find the p...
2021-10-12 20:18:38 +0000 UTC View Post
It does.
Hard to explain but somehow everything else you wear, touch and desire feels a little bit different once you know that this experience is available to you, stored away in a box and out of light. Fetish is an alternative technology for perception, after all.
Thank you for your support as always xxx
"The first time I looked at myself when I was in full gear, I felt like an object, in all the best ways". In "Ask A Rubberist" series (check through the tag below) I talk to people about their deeper connection with latex and all the things it means for their sexuality, creativity and identi...
2021-09-26 11:15:16 +0000 UTC View PostIn this essay, I ask the question what is erotic dominance made of, especially if you're femme – and probably fail to find a concrete enough answer. It feels like there isn't much written about that part of BDSM, or even that headspace, and it makes me wonder what kind of specific shame we attach to that.
I use femme because I came out as non-binary last year – and that paradoxically made me feel ok with ...
2021-09-17 14:52:21 +0000 UTC View Post
A couple of months ago, I got tied by Conor – here’s some documentation of that beautiful scene. It was the first time we met, and two hours later I was hanging upside down by my hips – something only possible with a lot of care, a lot ...
2021-09-09 15:38:55 +0000 UTC View Post
The other day I was in a shower, carefully washing a latex dress with unperfumed soap when I thought, well, I could not envisage doing this six months ago. I got into latex, like many people in BDSM, through looking at images that felt like they reflect my sexuality – and through seeking an appropriate outfit for kink parties. Latex comes with a rich erotic history – once it ends up on your body it becomes your personal ...
2021-08-30 11:18:41 +0000 UTC View Post
The latest essay in on the idea of "normal" and the surprising erotic excitement which comes with it, on kinksters with double lives, on outsider identities and why we have to still resist stigma even if being deviant is part of the fun. Kim Kardashian in a Balenciaga nylon catsuit doesn't have much to do with it – apart from accidentally transgressing the normative dresscode, kids in tow. And Patrick Bateman is an illustration...
2021-08-19 10:26:23 +0000 UTC View Post
This outfit was so much pleasure to wear in public (at Klub Verboten on Friday) and I can't post it anywhere else (because tits) – so here it is for the record <3
xxx
2021-08-15 15:12:00 +0000 UTC View PostIn 2021, going to kink parties feels not just too good to be true, but kind of utopian. Imagine. The room is full of people. You can come up to someone and talk to them up close. You can make out with strangers. Cruising happens so fast it's like something out of queer fairy tales of the last century which I never dreamed of experiencing in my lifetime. People obliviously fucking in dark corners of carefully moderated yet still...
2021-08-06 11:18:59 +0000 UTC View PostI am a masochist. I am also a person with a history of chronic pain. I tried to find the connection between these two things, and also wrote about pain highs, the body which (naturally) keeps the score, and the tremendous power which comes from being on a receiving end of consensual pain.
I remember my first pain high v...
2021-07-22 21:10:58 +0000 UTC View Post
If you're a nerd for BDSM gear – especially creatively designed and independently produced – you surely know about BNDSM already. BNDSM hits the sweet spot at the intersection of arousing, disturbing and technically intriguing. Looking at mouth spreaders, n...
2021-07-15 21:16:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Still looking for a good scanner, please send recommendations – literally, not joking, I have 30 pictures of my feet I need to scan.
A xxx
Hello beautiful people <3
Hope you're having a sexy Summer and thank you for sticking around here while I've been quiet. I have some things to share in the upcoming weeks, and they're hot and deep as always. In the meantime, here's some stuff I've been working on lately.
The new issue of Paraphilia is out now – it's a...
2021-07-09 11:24:28 +0000 UTC View Post
I loved doing visual research for the latest piece I wrote about the complex relationship of fashion and fetish. At the start of my kink exploration, I was not particularly into fetish – always thought I'm in it for the sensation rather than the dress up. The lines, however, are too blurred to separate the two. As 2021-06-20 20:04:13 +0000 UTC View Post
As a fashion writer, I have always been interested in the nature of consumerist desire – and how this kind of desire is different from the one we associate with fetish clothing. I wrote about this distinction, latex gloves, Cottweiler, and fetish as an alternative technology for perception. Enjoy and thank you for your support as always <3
2021-06-18 15:40:58 +0000 UTC
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What being out about kink means today – and where playing with darkness lands us in the era of hypervisibility.
When I think of BDSM, I often think of chains you can buy at hardware stores. In my local Leyland, they’re on the first floor, just after the bathroom fixtures, in thick heavy rolls. To buy some, you need ...
2021-06-09 16:53:19 +0000 UTC View Post
A couple of weeks ago I did a Facetime shoot with a wonderful photographer Alexandra Kacha (you can read a beautiful chat we had for this project right here). This LA-based angel got me sweating in my latex.
Being photographed can be a truly self-a...
2021-06-04 13:55:35 +0000 UTC View Post
This Thursday, kink and fetish party organisers Klub Verboten are running an erotic reading in collaboration with Berlinable, a publisher of erotica from (yes) Berlin. Klub Verboten has been putting up parties in London for the last 5 years – but today sharing a...
2021-05-19 14:13:42 +0000 UTC View Post
I have a lot of fascination for pro-dommes. They’ve got it all: power, personality, presence, some mind-blowing physical skills, and understanding of the human mind <3 Based in Brighton, Vera Violette is a truly multifaceted talent on the scene. She wor...
2021-05-15 15:13:00 +0000 UTC View Post
I love vintage fetish advertising.
Part of its allure is that aspirational glamorous cold but sexy quality which fashion photography had in the 1990s. The hard eroticism of the body, or even different body parts in these images does so well for selling leather or latex, not to mention that rich texture of black and white analogue photography.
There's also something very nostalgic about them – defunct address...
2021-05-07 11:18:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Today is 2 months since I started this Patreon – lots of love to you all who have chosen to support me, it makes me feel very seen (which is so special for me as a queer, a perv and an exhibitionist) ❤️
I miss dressing up for scenes because it helps me to express who I am, but also explore and study who I am in my ever-evolving sexuality. This space have been a bit of that too.
Lots off love
xxx 2021-05-03 13:33:59 +0000 UTC View Post
This is one of the first essays I have ever written about BDSM – on the beauty of losing control but being in control, on breath play and closeness, and on language. I write because I fall in love with experiences and I want to keep them forever. With sex, you can’t quite do that – the joy of it is partly in being beyond the conscious mind. But as a writer, I still find a lot of pleasure in trying.
Than...
2021-04-29 19:25:44 +0000 UTC View Post
I always get so excited when my day job as a culture writer overlaps with my interest in erotica, kink and BDSM – and their visual representation. Very grateful to Dazed for commissioning me to write about the new wave of erotic photography.
Guilty, I might have paid too much attention to the world of queer desire...
2021-04-27 10:34:33 +0000 UTC View Post
Shot in my bedroom in London during the January lockdown by my very priceless friend and collaborator Anya Gorkova. It was nice to get into that very pleasurable domme headspace just to be seen like that.
A xxx
2021-04-21 09:47:32 +0000 UTC View Post
The beauty of fetish and kink is that they can be anything you make of them. But they can also be tools to create the universe you want to live in. Moscow-based fetish designer Dahliia Kurmanguzhina of Tiger Forgives uses her work to dream up ...
2021-04-15 15:09:13 +0000 UTC View Post
My first essay is on rope – both my experience of being tied up and rope as an ever-shapeshifting erotic practice. But firstly, thank you once again for subscribing and supporting this project. Hope you find it equally interesting and hot <3
My rope partner likes to tie me in front of the mirror. I understan...
2021-04-02 16:36:27 +0000 UTC View Post
Could write about enacting your erotic self in your living space after shifting furniture around – because in reality not so many of us do so in the dungeons or even parties anymore. But can also just say I had so much fun shooting these with Anya Gorkova.
Lots of love,
Axx
2021-03-30 18:33:52 +0000 UTC View Post
